By the title you can tell what is coming, so to forewarn you I do plan on getting into the nitty gritty of birth and do not plan to spare any details so if you’re not into that kind of stuff I encourage you to move along. If you are easily offended by the word vagina or get queasy you should also most likely move along, to be honest I probably won’t even use the word vagina but hey I figured I’d throw it in here.

The day I went into labor: Tuesday, May 8th. I had planned maternity photos at 10am, I know a little last minute right? With a fiance who works out of town and weather that was not cooperating they were rescheduled multiple times, thankfully we got them in! Photos were finished around 11, I headed home with Kyle and my first son who is 2.5 years old. It was a beautiful day so I headed to the playground with Thad and had some fun for the afternoon, I was up and down slides, stairs and probably doing more carrying of Thad than I should have. We headed home closer to 1pm, had some lunch and Thad was laid down for nap time. I figured I would take the time to rest myself, I was laying in bed awake around 2:30pm when I felt what I thought was just the typical pregnancy discharge. If you’ve been pregnant before you know what I’m talking about, if you haven’t been and plan to be…prepare yourself to be wet A LOT, in the least sexy way possible. I stood up to go to the bathroom and as soon as my feet hit the ground I felt a huge gush of fluid and looked down to see the floor completely wet (so thankful I spared our new bed). I wish someone could have seen my face, I was so confused. What the hell is this? Did I just pee myself? Is this my water? It’s too soon? (My due date wasn’t until the 20th of May.) I ran to the bathroom, peed, stopped peeing and yet this fluid kept coming. I quickly then realized it was DEFINITELY my water, and I then became so excited! With my first son, my water never broke and was broken by the doctor in the hospital after receiving my epidural. First thing I did was call Kyle, he was in the basement working but I didn’t want to wake up Thad by yelling with all my excitement! Kyle answered slightly confused as to why I was calling him but when I said, “I think my water broke?”, I got some silence and then a, “Does this mean, it’s go time?” I decided to call my nurse and doula to update them.  I was told by my nurse and doula it could be sometime for contractions to start and to continue on about my day but was told to refrain from baths and sex (Sex was the LAST thing on my mind as I was slowly uncontrollably leaking HAHA).

So naturally I had a hair appointment at 5:15pm that day and really wanted to make it, I asked if they thought it would be okay to go and they agreed to continue on as normal. I am a somewhat anxious person so I do believe keeping busy helped me stay calm. I diapered up (there was some serious leaking going on) and made it to my appointment. Of course right around 6pm I began to feel those familiar tightening and twinges in my entire stomach area.

I am going to side track here and talk about contractions, well at least my view of them. So I am all for calling contractions anything you would like. Waves, surges or whatever else works for you, but guess what, changing the name doesn’t change how f’ing painful they are. I did all the research, looked into hypnobirthing but in the end I just didn’t stick with anything. I give so much credit to the woman who are able to peacefully and calmly handle contractions because I am not one of those woman! The only thing I can say is when you are experiencing contractions it is best to “give into them” rather than “fighting them”. Which may sound ridiculous, how do I give into something called a contraction which is making my entire body tighten? I myself visualized the fact my body was preparing for baby to make his exit and the tightening I was feeling was slowly opening that lovely area he was going to make his exit through. So rather than closing my body off, I gave into the pain (yes, I am calling it pain because guess what it’s not fun!).

Fast forward, hair is done (Thanks KP, pretty sure she thought she was going to deliver a baby) I head home, my man had gotten dinner and collected everything we needed. The contractions were uncomfortable but nothing unbearable, I let the team know they were increasing and my nurse said once they were every 10 minutes to let her know. By the time they became more noticeable they were around every 4 mins when I texted her. She said to come in, it was 9:30pm when we got there and then our doula came shortly after.

When I arrived at the center, they were filled in on my day, took my blood pressure and listened to baby’s heartbeat, all was normal. My doula advised it could be a bit and I should try to rest if possible, she suggested several positions, started essential oils and dimmed lights. However much I attempted to rest with Kyle at my side, I just couldn’t. My body was telling me get up and move and each contraction was becoming more painful the longer I laid. I labored leaning over an exercise ball a lot and did a lot of pacing through the contractions, they started getting pretty serious and this is the point that starts to become a blur. My blood pressure and baby’s heartbeat were checked throughout the entire process but it never interfered with my labor. I was laboring on the toilet for a bit ( I swore I had to poop, looking back it was definitely just the baby) and then had the horrible urge to puke and continued to puke after every contraction. I threw up directly in Kyle’s face at one point, and filled several emesis basins, ugh gross!

At this point to switch things up it was suggested I get in the tub to continue to labor. I must mention there have been no internal checks for dilation, not a single one. In my head I was afraid I was barely dilated and was going to be dealing with this for awhile longer and I was confused as to why I didn’t feel I was progressing faster. When I look back I realize I was progressing normally and was silly to even think that way. As for the tub I felt it helped me relax in between contractions because of the warm water being extremely relaxing but oh boy when they came they were so tough and intense. I got to the point I was feeling pain and pressure extremely low and just kept saying I’m gonna poop, I’m gonna poop…and then out of no where I literally screamed OMG I have to push. The nurse ran out and grabbed Katharine my doctor and when they came back in I was in serious meltdown mode, I believe he had pretty much shot into my birth canal and the pressure was unreal. I really started to panic at this point and I’d say I was entirely afraid of what I was feeling because I had never felt that before with Thad, my first son. I kept asking is this normal, am I okay? Is here there? I felt like I was going to rip into two (I know probably the last thing you want to hear but I really have no other way of explaining it), and then the contractions changed from the horrible tightening to the feeling of intensely needing to push. The pain left my whole body and solely concentrated itself in my groin area. And at the same time I got a cramp in my left hip which was so painful I couldn’t get in the right position to push because it locked up. Katharine suggested I get out of water because of my hip and they set up the birthing stool. It is pretty much a seat without a seat and you lower yourself down into a squatting position. During each contraction I pulled into the stool and began feeling the sensation of burning and stretching as he was crowning, this finally made me realize he was definitely there.  When his head finally (I say finally like it took forever but it was around 1-2 minutes after coming out of the tub) came out I felt some relief but also felt him wiggling which was totally freaky. At this point I knew I was so close to having a baby in my arms my motivation to push became so real. After watching the clip of video recorded by my doula you can hear the change in sounds I was making, I swear I joke around that I sounded animal like as I groaned him out, I was so angry at the pain I just wanted it over. I pushed twice more and Katharine guided him up into my arms, his body coming out was honestly just as uncomfortable as his head.  The good news is as soon as he was out he came right up into my arms and the pain was COMPLETELY gone.

The euphoria and high of natural birth is real ya’ll, its the greatest feeling ever. The team had to do some suctioning because he wasn’t breathing right away, it took a second and then he started spitting out fluid and color came to his face. We were moved to the bed and I delivered the placenta pretty quickly after that. With delayed cord clamping his cord was completely white when it was cut which allows baby to finish receiving the rest of his blood supply which had been circulating. During this time baby was on my chest, skin to skin and warming up. Kyle and I were in bed together and took all the time we needed to soak up this baby we had just brought into the world. After our time together, baby was weighed and measured. I was then checked for any tearing, and thankfully there was nothing! I was lightheaded and slightly nauseous but was able to get up and go pee with the help of the wonderful woman on my team. Due to me being faint they cleaned up my bottom area  while I laid in bed instead of showering. I then got dressed in preparation to head home. Our son was born at 1:20 am Wednesday, May 9th, 2018. We named him Cassius Lee Pozek. We were packed up by 4am, and were on our way home.

I do have to add during the entire process my doula was offering ideas for positioning, rubbing, massaging and cuing Kyle on things that could help me through the pain. My nurse was offering ideas as well as monitoring baby and I. I was encouraged to drink water the entire time and also added coconut water to my glass! Staying hydrated was a huge help and it allowed me to bounce back after labor. Before heading home I ate a meal brought to me by my childhood friend who was also there for the delivery and cut the cord for us!

Overall, the experience is mind blowing when I return back and think about everything that took place to bring our son into the world. I prepared so much for the process and truly feel all the effort I put in allowed me to have the birth I dreamed of. I will touch on everything I did to prepare for an out of hospital birth in another blog post so please stay tuned!

The first words I would hear after someone would ask where I was delivering. I usually replied with a simple “The Birthing Center of Buffalo”. Most would turn their head cluing for more information, I would then give in and explain I was having an out of hospital birth and planned to do an all natural labor and delivery. The horror that crossed most people’s faces when they realized I was CHOOSING not to use medication. I have been asked several times why I chose to do such a thing and now I will share my own personal reasons.

My first labor and delivery was your textbook story, I saw my OB throughout the entire pregnancy, registered at my local hospital and hoped for the best. I attended the “birthing classes” which were supposed to teach me everything I needed to know. However I left feeling less educated than when I walked in. Sadly this “class” made me feel as if my labor had to fit into a specific box. I was told to track my contractions and once they were at this specific frequency and duration it was go time. However no one informed me of other symptoms of labor and more importantly ways to manage your contractions and the labor process. When I went into labor had I known the upset stomach was actually a clue I would have been better prepared, instead when I felt these ‘tightening” pains I stayed glued to my phone only focusing on the time rather than listening to my body and giving into the contractions. Fast forward to hospital arrival, I was a bundle of nerves in complete panic, walking in at 7 cm dilated. Having lost my mother years prior I arrived at that hospital with very little support and no “birthing team”. A woman in labor is in her most vulnerable state, we need a TEAM. We need women who will advocate for our best interest, whom know what we want out of our labor and delivery. This is something I lacked and it was the first thing I looked for with my second pregnancy. I wanted to feel cared for, supported, and as if I was in control. Cue in the birth center, MD, midwife and doulas. I will elaborate on my experiences with my doula in another post.

Choosing an out of hospital birth is not for everyone, as a nurse I am the first to understand that hospitals are necessary in some situations. As a healthy, active woman with no prior health concerns I was able to choose this route. Side note, had I developed a problem in my pregnancy or needed to be transferred to a hospital it was a quick trip in the car to the area hospital where my MD and birth team would follow. When delivering in the hospital I could not wait to get out, I hated the food (I love food, so this was huge for me LOL), the constant checking my you know what, the constant blood pressures and monitoring, and the fact I just couldn’t sleep well there. The perks of a birthing center birth? You return home 3-4 hours post delivery (this is where everyone looks at me like I have three heads). Now relax I’ll explain, had there been a problem or I needed more monitoring you are not rushed out, the team ensures you are ready and well enough to leave. I was able to go home 4 hours after delivery, ushered tenderly by my ever so loving fiance (the real MVP) and lay in my own bed with my own pillows and no one bothering me to look at my lady bits. You do have an in home visit the following day and are in constant contact with the MD/midwife if needed. You are their main focus and feel the difference compared to an office with hundreds of moms to care for at one time.

My last point I’ll touch on which also swayed my decision were the comforts allowed at the center. You want to drink water? Go ahead! You want to eat some fruit? Feel free (I warned ya, I’m a foodie). You want to strip off all your clothes and labor in a warm tub? Girl, get right in. And guess what all that hydration and nourishment means NO IV necessary, no needles, no bruising. Lastly, fetal monitoring, there was no need for constant monitoring in my labor. I was rather checked periodically throughout labor which allowed for free, unrestricted movement. Which honestly was my main method of handling contractions and the intense “tightening” I felt. Being able to move how my body cued me to was a significant difference than my first delivery where I was planted in a bed with a numb and tingly lower half.

Many ask, which route would I choose if I have another baby? Would I go back to the hospital or choose the birth center again. I would be lying if I didn’t say I was nervous of the unknown when it came to the “pain” I would feel and the difference without an epidural. However given the option I would wholeheartedly choose the birth center ten times over, my main reason? THE RECOVERY! During this pregnancy I was educated on what my body had just done and the serious healing it needed to do and the complete rest it needed in order to heal correctly. This time around I listened to my providers, allowed my body to heal and had very minimal activity for close to two weeks while my fiance cared for me. I am now six weeks postpartum and feel absolutely amazing. Pain and swelling postpartum this time was so minimal, I had no tearing and my body wasn’t swollen with liters of unnecessary fluid pumped into me. Also who doesn’t like the idea being able to immediately have your baby placed on your chest after delivery while you lay in bed uninterrupted with Daddy for well over an hour while you’re able to marvel at the miracle now in your arms. Such a rush of all those feel good hormones. I plan to post my entire birth story next, stay tuned. Also any questions regarding the all natural route feel free to ask!

 

 

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton